Monday, April 19, 2010

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This weekend was such an intense roller coaster. It seriously was one of the highlights of the year in many ways. I seriously love the bond between my ASC and the Rhythm Inc. family. And seriously, it's like a family.

I seriously would like to blog about my weekend, but so much has happened emotionally and physically exhausting that I have no idea where to start. Regardless, I would like to give out props to Cyndy and Rhythm Inc. for putting together such an awesome show, Breakthrough 2KX! There were 18 crews from all over California, judges of all shapes and sizes, and had some of the most stressful house ushers I've ever worked with. Please note that the ushers were no part of Rhythm Inc., Delta College student volunteers, or Adobo Street Connection. Those ushers were part of the Atherton Theater employment.

I am highly upset with most of my contacts that made promises to Breakthrough and it's producer. It made them look bad and even made me look bad. I lost a lot of trust business and personal wise from those issues on both ends of being a liable connection for contacts. Especially some of the contacts where businesses that I looked up to. Yes, I understand that situations do come up, but Cyndy the the most organized person I know. She files every document, replies immediately to emails and texts, and even goes out of her way to make sure that client is comfortable.

All together and in the end, this Breakthrough month was an amazing experience and my ASC Team and I were happy to be part of it. For most of us, including me especially, it was a different experience out of my norm and a first for that type of event. I am super proud of Cyndy for keeping her composure and I'm always there to help support her any way possible.

I felt the emotion from the Rhythm Inc. team when they announced that it was Robyn and Cyndy's last performance with Rhythm Inc. I have only best wishes towards everyone on the team and for almost one year now I've seen so many of them grow emotionally and become more of a family.

I'll admit I acted beyond my typical child-like ways this weekend. The last few weeks I honestly have not been feeling myself and I am not typically one to vent to someone in a deep conversation. Bottled up emotions were building up inside and after what happened at home on Saturday, I seriously took 10 steps back when I thought I took 3 steps forward. I'm one those people that keep it to myself to try and figure out how to solve it without anyone's help. As I tried to keep my composure (big emphasis on try), I reflected on my life as of lately. Not allowing that situation to get in the way of my girlfriend's BIG weekend, I put as much effort into helping out Breakthrough 2KX more on my ASC team and I'm very happy they took the extra step to go beyond what I normally asked them to accomplish.

Best put into words, I have been feeling under-accomplished and unattractive lately. It may sound really egotistic, I know. Keep in mind, self esteem is part of motivation. Going to take steps to become stricter on my priorities, goals, and self worth.

1) Exercising more (get rid of my gut).
2) Getting rid of small habits like talking in an Asian accent. It's gotten annoying.
3) Helping out around the house more often.
4) Be more aggressive with finding a job.
5) Being more considerate.

Just basic 5 goals I'm aiming at and habits I need to work. Baby steps. I hate the fact that sometimes I look way into things in my life that it starts to make me a bit stressed. Especially when in the end I find out my gut feeling is correct, but I'm in denial and hoping I was wrong. I feel that people already find me predictable. I guess I've been in a consistent pattern lately (not sure exactly what it is) and I need to change that. Not too sure how Devon found out I had plans to move down to LA, but we had a nice small talk about how the Bay Area and LA compare as to finding a place to fit my needs. Thanks Devon! I personally trust his words because he's in the industry.

Another thing that has happened is one of my best friend's dad passed away. I personally hated the situation on how my gf and I found out. My prayers go out to him and his family.

I personally feel emotionally lost and I'm going to take some time to myself. I'm not pushing any plans and promises aside. As lost as I may feel, I still have my passion of helping out with productions and traveling. Big ups to my boy, RJ Navalta. I thought I traveled a lot, but that guy is a beast.

One big plan I'm looking forward to is a possible California tour with two pretty popular YouTube Musicians. I hope the dates get settled. Also, I'm looking forward to SpoCom. Once again, I'm super proud and highly impressed of my girlfriend.

I know my girlfriend typically doesn't like romantic stuff like this, but I made her breakfast in bed this morning to try to show her that I was proud of her. Not too sure about her reaction to it, but she ate the food regardless and told me she loves me.

I'm going to get some rest and for those that sent me your wishes and stuff, thank you. I'm blessed that no one was hurt and that my friends were there for me to ask if I was ok.

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